B. and I got engaged over the weekend. We’ve been together for almost 6 years, and we’d started talking about getting engaged a few weeks ago, after I told him that the “boyfriend” nomenclature wasn’t really doing it for me anymore, that I like diamonds and that I don’t mind a long engagement. It seemed like time to get our intentions out in the open. He agreed, saying that it was time to “tidy it up.” So I didn’t know what he had in mind, if anything, but he loves to surprise me.
Good things always happen to me at dances. B. and I met at a dance. And that’s where he decided to propose.
Saturday night, at our regular midtown contra dance, the caller announced it was time for the half-time waltz before the break. I started looking around for B., and didn’t see him at first. Then I realized that he was up on the riser with the band, wearing the caller’s head mic. I swear, I can’t tell you exactly what he said, but it was something like, “I have something I want to say to a special lady. Laura, will you come up to the stage, please?” Again, I really have no earthly idea what else he said, but I heard, “Will you marry me?” (I hear one of our friends has it on video, so I’ll have to refresh my memory.) I think I said yes, or at least nodded vigorously, and he stepped down (or was he already down?) and slipped a ring on my finger.
As if that wasn’t enough, he had asked the band (one of my favorite duos) to play my favorite waltz, “Two Rivers” so then we waltzed! Everyone else started waltzing too, floating by us, wishing us well.
That’s the story. VERY romantic, don’t you think? We were surrounded by friends during the break, then danced a little more, then I slipped away to call a couple of people. We went out for a drink with the dance group later and had a marvelous time, then went home and talked about it all until 3 AM.
A truly stellar day! A great moment in my life! A completely awesome fiance!
And no, no wedding plans for the immediate future – we’ll keep you posted.
ADDENDUM: November 29, 2008 – B.’S VERSION
I asked B. to fill in the blanks of the proposal, since I was fuzzy on the details, and here’s what he told me:
What he said from the stage was, “May I have your attention? I’d like to dedicate this waltz to a special lady – on one condition. Laura would you come up to the stage please?” He said he enjoyed the puzzled look on my face. He said he stepped down from the riser to meet me, then took my left hand, then my right, kissed my left hand and said, “Will you marry me?” After I said yes, he said, “I believe it’s customary to seal the deal with a bauble.” He took off the microphone, then feigned not being able to find the ring, patting all of his pockets, then pulled the ring out of his pants pocket. He showed the ring to the crowd, but kept it hidden from me.He slid the ring onto my finger, still hidden, then pulled his hand away so I could see it, then kissed me. Then we waltzed.
ALSO – We’ve seen the video our friend shot that night, which has the very tale end of the proposal – the ring part – and the entire waltz – it’s really fun to watch, especially seeing our friends’ reactions. I certainly didn’t see that the first time around, since I was only looking at B.!
This is one story that doesn’t suffer at all from too many details. It just gets better…
Posted in contra dancing on November 17, 2008 by FiftyBogue
Wow – That was some great dancing we got to do over the weekend in Lawrence. I’m just sorry I couldn’t come back for the Sunday dance. Everything was just right – the caller, Tom Hinds, was clear, concise, laid back and funny. The band, Lit Splickety, was solid and awesome. The lighting and the floor were perfect. A lot of great dancers and good friends in the room too. Another peak dancing experience. Thanks, Lawrence Barn Dance Association!
I’m also posting a short video from Solefest in Springfield, Missouri two weeks ago. This features Frederick Parks calling while giving the band a chance to dance – he accompanies his own singing square. Enjoy!
“Contra dancing is difficult to describe in words. It must be experienced. There are, however, some definitions that may be helpful. Contra dancing has its roots in Scottish and English country dancing and American square dancing. The progression and figures allow everyone to dance with everyone else. Two long lines of people face each other at the start, but as the dance continues, some couples progress up the set and some progress down the set. By the end of every dance you will most likely have danced with everyone in your set. Yes, this may sound confusing, but it is much easier to do it than it is to think about it.
The soundtrack of a contra dance may include celtic, old time, bluegrass, swing, and popular music styles – all from a live band – depending on where the dance is held. Our contra evenings also include waltzes, occasional squares, and other fun surprises.
Contra dancing is a great form of exercise and an excellent way to meet new people with varied personalities.
You do not need to bring a partner because there will be others with whom you can dance. If you do have a favorite partner, it is a great way to spend time together.
If you are doubtful about coming because you do not know exactly what it is or because you do not already know how, the best thing to do is to come and find out.
If it must be described…perhaps the best way is to say that contra dancing is as a self-inflicted amusement park ride…but do not let that scare you !
Here’s an excerpt from a GREAT article by Greg Rohde of St. Louis:
“What I discovered that July night was wonderful live music that compels me to move, a community that extends great hospitality to new dancers and a style of dance that is very easy to learn. Much of contra’s popularity is in its simplicity: if you can walk, you can contra dance. It doesn’t matter if you have two left feet. (Contra dancing uses a walking step so it doesn’t matter which left foot you start on.) I was thrilled to encounter a place where the whole community dancing together is more important than any one person or any couple looking good. I had previously taken some dance lessons that were horrible because the instructor kept chastising us for every small mistake. Worrying about getting each step right meant that the evening caused more stress than it relieved. The contra dance floor, on the other hand, was a playful oasis. Everyone was very patient with teaching someone who was new, had no idea what was going on and lacked a good sense of rhythm. I was hooked. Since then, it’s seeped into my blood as I’ve danced thousands of dances and have discovered a source of deep joy and great playfulness.”
Now, like I said, they’ve described it very well, but they can’t tell you what this “self-inflicted amusement park” means to me.
When I started dancing I was single. While I hoped to meet a nice guy at the dances – and there was always someone there I was interested in – it was never an atmosphere that was just about hooking up. In fact, it took a while to figure out who was already partnered, since couples don’t always dance together. And I did, in fact, meet B. at a dance, so that worked out very well. Before that, I had taken Irish and swing dance classes, but what I found was that this kind of dance took away my loneliness and gave me a community, much in the way that church does for many people, I guess. But this fix also satisfied my physical need to touch people. Contra dancers like to say, “Where else can you be in the arms of different man/woman every 30 seconds?” And although you may not be attracted to every guy or gal you swing (hopefully not, at least), a contra dance is a comfortingly safe place to be physical with other humans.
Plus, it’s just plain fun.It’s the only exercise I’ve ever loved.Since I seem to have no endorphins (I exercise, but I’m always grumpy afterwards), it was a big surprise to love something so aerobic and to feel so joyful during and after.It’s a very sociable environment too, and now contra dancers figure prominently among my friends.
And yes, it’s a little bit like the square dancing you did in junior high, but not very much, and you don’t have to wear a cowboy hat or a big petticoat unless you want to.And you’re older now, so you don’t have to worry so much about looking cool or no one asking you to dance. Besides, they will ask you to dance!And it’s OK for you to ask them! They will, too, I swear! It’s a very friendly place.
One surprise for me was that contra dance is like this huge, secret society that you don’t know about until you, uh… well, know about it.I’m sure there are a lot of things like that around, but I never fail to marvel at how many places there are to contra dance across the country and around the world. Just Google it, or search “contra dance” on youtube – you’ll see. Before I travel, I check dance websites to see if I can catch a dance somewhere, and when I do, the group is unfailingly welcoming. Many dance folks are “dance gypsies” and travel around to lots of regional dance weeks or weekends, which often offer nationally known callers and bands. I mostly stay in the Missouri/Kansas area, where I can enjoy four or five dance weekends a year, but I’ve traveled to Kentucky and Wisconsin just to dance. I know folks who travel to dances almost every weekend. (Some drive for 2 hours just to go to their “local” dance!) I have a friend who spent most of one summer traveling from dance to dance, calling or e-mailing ahead to a dance group to see if someone could put her up. They always did, and she was safe and sound and had a blast.
And the music! If you’d told me 15 or 20 years ago that I’d be this interested in old-time fiddle music, I’d have thought you were nuts. But if I had more time and money, I swear I’d be a groupie for some of my favorite dance bands.Hotpoint, Wild Asparagus, Airdance, Nightingale – the ones I like are non-traditional, incorporating some bluesy-cajuny-rocking funk into those old fiddle tunes. And don’t get me started about my waltz music!There are always at least two waltzes played at every contra dance, and waltz workshops are offered at most dance weekend workshops.I fell in love with the waltzing early on, then I fell in love with Larry Unger’s waltz music.If I were to get married tomorrow, I’d walk down the aisle to one of those songs.
So, it’s obviously more than dancing for me.It’s fun, family, friendship, fitness, love, and a twirlingly good reason to wear a skirt. It’s a high.It’s bliss. It’s a good reason to keep my knees in shape. It’s my guaranteed slice of joy.
You can take a look at my dance videos on Youtube here or click below. For those of you in the Kansas City area, who’d like to check out a dance, visit the CrossCurrents Dance website. For those of you who are elsewhere, visit here for national dance listings.
Besides allergy sufferers, who doesn’t love spring? I love spring, but given the importance of April – Earth Day Season – to my job, spring is hectic for me and I don’t get to savor it. I mean, I notice the weather changing, flowers and trees blooming and all that, but don’t get outside much until mid-May. So the thing that’s come to signal full-on spring and the beginning of summer to me is the Kimmswick dance weekend that I go to every year on or near Memorial Day weekend.
It’s held at Cuivre River State Park near Troy, Missouri, which is in a very beautiful, heavily wooded area. There are bunk houses that sleep eight (with bunk beds), grouped into “villages” of six cabins and a showerhouse. Some of us have taken to staying in the same cabin every year and we arrive early to clean and decorate it with twinkly lights, pinwheels and lawn flamingos.
However, my first visit to Kimmswick was traumatic. I came down with some friends and I believe I’ve never had more fun than I had that weekend. HOT dancing and lots of laughs. However, as we were eating breakfast on Monday morning and preparing to go home, I got called to the dining hall phone (I had uncharacteristically left this emergency number with my parents) and heard my dad’s choked-up voice telling me my mom had had a stroke and probably wasn’t going to make it. My friends got my stuff and me into the car and got me to the hospital in Independence in record time and took such good care of me. (My mom lived, wheelchair-bound for another five years, but that’s a story for another time…) I wasn’t sure I would ever feel as happy at Kimmswick again after that. But I did, and I do, every year.
I haven’t written much about contra dancing (yet – stay tuned for my next post), but let me tell you, there’s some great and abundant dancing at Kimmswick. (Here’s a video from 2007.) But for me, it’s as much about the visiting as the dancing.
The second year I came, I traveled alone, worried that I wouldn’t know many people there. That’s when I devised a brilliant strategy: I set up two extra lawn chairs next to me. I’d ensconce myself with a book and some sewing under the trees outside the dance hall. I’d dance a bit, and sit a bit. Every year, I’d sit and visit more and dance less (during the day, at least – I dance my ass off at night) and someone would alway join me. My friend D. always says I “hold court” there, but really, it’s just the extra chair trick. I could sit there all day, breathing in the fresh, spring air and listening to the bands play. Some times it’s the first real relaxing I’ve done in a while.
It’s almost always perfect and sunny. I’ve been going there for nine years (this was the 47th Kimmswick weekend – they used to have it twice a year, so I don’t know how many years that is) and there have been torrential rains, cold weather, hot weather, but more often than not, it’s been that perfect spring weather – sunny and 80 degrees in the afternoon, lovely and cool at night.
OK, it might be more perfect in my memory, but still…
This year, there were good friends who couldn’t go, but other folks I got to know better as a result. There was some hard rain, but some sunshine during the day. It was both hot and cold. Lots of ticks. We held our sewing circle in the dining hall to avoid the rain, and visited a quilt shop in town. B. and I got ice cream at a local joint called Krumbly Burger, in memory of a trip I took there my first year. The potlucks were wonderful and so was the company and the dancing.
(There was a weird little cloud over my head, though. I was NOT dancing well. I pride myself on being an accomplished contra dancer, but I was screwing up right and left. It was so frustrating at the last morning’s dance that I had a mini-meltdown and cried for a few minutes. This was the only time I can remember when I couldn’t just laugh off my mistakes – and everyone makes mistakes in this kind of dancing. But I was having brain farts of such massive proportions and I couldn’t seem to concentrate enough to overcome them. I don’t know if I was just sleep deprived or if I’m having some hormonal menopausal deal or if I’m really losing it. I’m going to go with sleep deprivation, but plan to keep an eye on myself…)
This is the place I’ve gotten to know people that are now very important to me. It’s the place where I can slip off my shoes and ease into summer. It’s the place where I can dance without restraint or sit still without guilt. Thanks, Kimmswick.
I’ve been doing contra dance for some time, and have had some interesting thoughts about special dances I’d like to try. One is, of course, the X-Treme Contra, done in the dark with glowing bracelets and necklaces, and the one where everyone wears animal slippers. The one I told the most folks about was the all-black dance, which I have always thought would be done in my honor when I die.
Last year, our dance council started talking about having a free dance to thank our wonderful dance community for their devotion over the years, and I had also been talking about my “memorial” dance idea. Our council chair, Linda, said, “Hey – aren’t you turning 50 next year? Why don’t we combine these ideas and have the LB Memorial Contra dance?” So we did. I hired the band and caller, and the council paid for the hall, and we promoted it by saying that anyone who wore all black would get in free. I also bought maybe 20 articles of black clothing from thrift stores, in case someone showed up who didn’t know (it was one of our regular dances, after all, and there would be beginners) and wanted to change clothes.
And what an awesome night! We had the biggest turnout ever. I think we had 104 dancers, and 90% of them wearing black! Free pays off, doesn’t it? Everyone also took the opportunity to wish me well, and were willing to listen to my nearly-weepy halftime “what contra dance means to me” speech, and it was altogether the most fun dance EVER!
The band and Jim, the caller, gave it their all and it was a wonderful time. Afterwards, we had a party at a nearby clubhouse with wonderful chocolate cake ever, an oddly dirge-like birthday song, and another round of too much champagne. Otis brought the massage chair, so I got yet another massage.
To recap the fabulous birthday weekend:
hot stone massage/lunch/latte/reading/shopping
greeting loved ones with presents
very fun party/dinner/games
art museum/lunch/dance/party
pancake breakfast/talking with friends/movie with my sweetie
latte/lunch/shopping/hot tub/pedicure/movie
Is that not the perfect long weekend? I’m blessed with friends, family, love and fun! I’m already enjoying the 2nd fifty years!
I’m finally getting around to posting about my 50th birthday party – two months later!
I turned 50 in January and had a wonderful weekend. Friday the 11th, my actual B-day, started off with a 90-minute hot stone massage at a local spa! I KNOW…! Every day should start like that! I went out for a nice lunch, lolled about a Starbucks and read with a latte, did a little shopping then went home to await my house guests. My sister and brother-in-law came in from Maryland for my birthday and my friends Jeanette and Bruce came in for the festivities as well.
That evening, after the four of them arrived, we hung out and talked and I opened some gifts – amazing earrings from L&G, wonderful necklace from J&B, and my sweetie gave me the most beautiful quilt rack every made (see at left). Then, we got ready to receive our dinner guests.
I really wish everyone I love could have been there, but I had about 23 of you in the house, and it was a perfect blast.
I dithered about whether to have it at a restaurant, rent a party room, or have folks over to my apartment. Since I moved in August, and haven’t had that many people over yet I thought it would be fun to invite folks over, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do all that cleaning. But since I was having houseguests anyway, I finally landed on having folks over to the apartment.
I wanted to keep it simple, though, but still needed to feed and seat everyone – plus accommodate my vegetarian and vegan friends. I finally opted for frozen lasagne (veggie and meat) from Costco, a big tub of salad and 6 desserts. You heard me. The desserts were important. Despite being perpetually on Weight Watchers (or perhaps because I am…?) I wanted to have a taste of all the desserts I love, so I had a wonderful key lime pie, a vegan chocolate cake from Whole Foods, a chocolate banana cream pie, and three kinds of ice cream: Haagan Daz coffee, B&J Karmel Sutra and B&J peach cobbler.
But of course it really WASN’T just about the food! We had a wonderful mix of people, with my worlds colliding – family, friends from dance, college, work, and wherever mixing it up. Not that many folks knew each other – at first – but there was a lot of talk and laughter and fun. After dinner – and lots of champagne – I insisted on a big game of Taboo. Not everyone could hang around, but we had 18 people playing in one big game for a couple of hilarious hours. A truly stupendous evening, my 50th birthday. Folks are still talking about it. And in a good way, I mean…
